Retractable Umbilical Cord

Watching One Born Every Minute last night made me think of my own pregnancy. Prior to having my daughter I was adamant that I wasn’t going to do any pre-natal classes which probably had something to do with my irrational fear of the NCT. I don’t know what it is about it but they scare the hell out of me.

Anyhow, a friend persuaded me it was a good idea so I signed up for the free classes on the NHS. I’m really glad I did as I met a few nice people who I couldn’t have survived the first few months without. Even if it was just to send them a text at 2am saying my child is the anti-Christ.

Before, I digress, back to the story at hand. Just imagine a room full of heavily pregnant woman with a lot of scared looking men. During one of the classes, the mid wife was explaining what we should expect after delivery. She said if everything was okay they would lay the baby on mummy’s chest. But if not, they may have to take the baby across the room to have a closer look.

And this is where I need to introduce Jill (not her real name). Bless her; she was a lovely lady but a bit nervous and suffering from pregnancy brain (or lack of). You could actually see her mind spinning and then she asked……

‘Do they cut the cord first????’

How bloody long did she think the cord was! I managed to keep a straight face but I was dying of laughter on the inside. We don’t see her anymore but we do still giggle about this.

Author: mediocremum

A slightly older mum of one, who drinks far too much red wine and has an unhealthy obsession with her slow cooker. During the day she's an ICT Trainer, Social Media/Online Marketing consultant and does a bit of public speaking. Full Profile on Google+

12 thoughts on “Retractable Umbilical Cord”

  1. We still take the mickey out of my friends husband for calling muslin squares, "muslim squares" at our antenatal classes!

  2. We still take the mickey out of my friends husband for calling muslin squares, “muslim squares” at our antenatal classes!

  3. Haha, how funny!

    I find it amazing how little some people know about birth and pregnancy…..we all learn about it in school even if that's where the knowledge stops and then there are the magazines.

  4. Haha, how funny!
    I find it amazing how little some people know about birth and pregnancy…..we all learn about it in school even if that’s where the knowledge stops and then there are the magazines.

  5. Lol. I have to agree with you, I too think more time should be spent by midwives, preparing new mums for the first weeks after the baby is born, as most of what I learned about what to do after the baby was born was learnt from magazines and books, rather than midwives. Classes on how to feed your baby would be handy, for both formula fed and breast fed babies. Oh, and on how to change a nappy, vest and babygro at 3am with just a nightlight on!

  6. Lol. I have to agree with you, I too think more time should be spent by midwives, preparing new mums for the first weeks after the baby is born, as most of what I learned about what to do after the baby was born was learnt from magazines and books, rather than midwives. Classes on how to feed your baby would be handy, for both formula fed and breast fed babies. Oh, and on how to change a nappy, vest and babygro at 3am with just a nightlight on!

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