Sibling Rule Sucks!

I promised myself I wouldn’t get wound up about this as there is nothing I can do about it.  However, when I was filling out my daughter’s application for pre-school I found myself getting angry that when the time comes she will not go to the school closest to our house.  We have two schools which are near our house.  One is a 5 minute walk and the other is a 45 minute walk.  On paper they are both very good but the one closer, in my opinion, is better for Madame and the latter would require driving to school everyday as I don’t have 3 hours to give up a day to walk back and forth.  Plus, we will lose our childminder which she has been going to since she was 4 months old.  I blame the arbitrary Sibling Rule!

We live in an area with smaller houses (2-3 bedroom) terraced housing.  People tend to buy them as childless couples, have a child, and get them into the school and then high-tail it across town to the bigger houses.  There is one woman at my school of choice who has 5 children in the school and lives clear across town.  One of our old neighbours has 3 children in the school but she moved two years ago but still has the gull to park on our road.  It takes me all my power not to nut her!  I wish I had statistics on this but I can tell you there is a lot if you saw the number of vehicles that converge on the school in the morning.

I’m confident that this isn’t unique to our area.  It’s happened to so many of my friends as well and you see loads of stories similar in the local paper every year.  One of my friends lives at A, there is a school at B but in fact she has to travel to C every morning.  There were 29 siblings that year, which meant they only had space for a couple of children.  In addition, her resident parking permit has increased by 16% this year for the 2nd car.  The Department of Transport really needs to speak to the Department of Education as the only reason she has a second car is to take her child to school.

The sibling rule has always been a sore spot with me even when I was a teacher myself.  I strongly believe that if you move out of the area you should move your children to the closest school as there are so many benefits from children going to school locally:

  • Childhood Obesity:  kids could walk to school, this is a no brainer
  • Sense of Community
  • Neighbourhood Watch:  If you know your neighbours you’re more likely to look out for them.
  • Traffic Congestion:  if you’ve ever tried to get across town during drop off or pick up time you’d know what I was on about.
  • Pollution:  less car journeys mean less air pollution
  • Road Safety:  less absent minded mums ploughing their way through town in 4X4s and a reduction in dodgy parking outside of schools where kids can dart out!
  • Childcare:  bit of a selfish one but wouldn’t it be great to know neighbours with teenagers
  • House-sitting:  we all need someone to feed the animal menagerie when we go away.

The only time I’d bend the rules is if you had a child who had started Year 6.  I’m not suggesting that children go to different schools but if your child has started year 6, they and the rest of the siblings should be allowed to finish the year and then move.  This is something parents should consider when they decide to upsticks!  But, if they throw the SATS out then this would no longer be an issue.

Bottom line, it’s very unfair that we will be unable to attend our local school unless there is some type of divine intervention.  I wonder why they call them local schools anymore?????

Author: mediocremum

A slightly older mum of one, who drinks far too much red wine and has an unhealthy obsession with her slow cooker. During the day she's an ICT Trainer, Social Media/Online Marketing consultant and does a bit of public speaking. Full Profile on Google+

25 thoughts on “Sibling Rule Sucks!”

  1. Very good point and someone else asked if I would feel the same if the local school was crap. We are very lucky and they are good…but I think it very unfair that they can move across town, live in a lovely big house and take a space away from my daughter to attend her local school. I do agree with the sibling rule to some degree but the priority should be given to people who live close first and then siblings. There is no legislation on how the rule is applies…schools can do it in any way they like which is wrong…In my opinion. Bottom line is we love our kids and want to do best by them and most will break rules to do so.

  2. Where I live, I'm sure that catchment with sibling and catchment without sibling are higher than sibling non catchment …..if that makes sense!

  3. Also meant to add that there are landlords in these catchment areas who purposefully promote the fact that their properties are convenient for helping to acquire school places.

  4. Consider when the shoe is on the other foot. If it wasn't for the sibling rule my youngest would have probably had to be driven 2 miles down the road. Even though we are 10 mins walk from the nearest school we are just on the borderline where the yearly intake nears capacity, so getting a place becomes hit and miss. Without the sibling rule we may have had the problem of trying to get two young children into different schools at 9 in the morning. Not an easy procedure for one parent doing the drop off.

    However I do agree that families that move away from the area but still drive their children across town to attend a particular school are out of order. I am aware of children who are driven across a large town to our village, past most of the other primary schools to attend a school they moved away from years ago (I have been where I am now 6 years and they moved well before then). They moved so they could be close to the secondary school of their choice once the first child enter infant school. The secondary school is very over subscribed and I'll _confess_ that it is not your run of the mill state school (get it?). In my opinion families that move away should be encouraged strongly to move their children to a more local school with spaces. Alternatively they should loose their right to use the sibling rule.

  5. Yes it is the breaking and bending the rules that i detest as well. A past colleague of was aware of parents in Hendon who were openly renting flats in catchment areas and claiming to have separated. Once the little darlings were in the school they would stop renting the flat and move back into the family home. The money they saved on the flat would help pay the fees!

  6. hmmm, difficult one. In our case my eldest started school locally, we were out of catchment but he got in no problems. Our closest school to our home is poor and his infant school was and still is outstanding. All his friends were there too. Three years later and his sister did not get a place there however, as the school was over subscribed and we were out of catchment. I was then in the position of having to get them both to different schools at the same time and by this stage I had also had my third child so was having to drag her in and out of the car too to try and be in two places at once. After a few weeks a place did become available at the same school *phew*.

    We are just about to move into catchment to a much smaller house that has cost us much more money just to ensure that our youngest can go to the same school and that our eldest will get to attend the same high school as all his friends when we apply for their places next year. It is a shame that our local schools are so poor and that we have had to move house to be able to get our children into decent schools. I have been glad of the sibling rule although by the time my kids are all at school I will have one at infants, one at junior and one at secondary. It is easier if they are all in the same cluster as they then liase on dates etc.
    Bottom line is all kids deserve to get a decent education at a decent school. Ideally this should be the one local to them.

  7. It's very interesting seeing the other side of the argument. I do agree that sibling shouldn't go to different schools as this makes it very difficult for parents. However, I still do feel that location should come before the sibling rule.I work in education, I go into a different school everyday and it still blows my mind the discrepancy between the quality of schools across the country. I don't blame you for moving to ensure your children get the best education they can and I wish there was a quick fix for these struggling schools so that parents like yourself don't have to go to extreme measures of moving house.

  8. I agree, bloody nightmare. Toddler boy is at M. Wix playgroup, he goes to P Wood nursery in Jan (2 intakes- stupid) if he doesnt get into the reception because of sibling rule (he wouldnt have this year) he will end up going back to M Wix after 2 terms away. STUPID, should just apply to the after pre-school once and know that is where you are going. We live 500 m from the school, I will be very pissed off if we dont get in and I have to drive & lose the childminder…

  9. There is no perfect system, but without the sibling rule a Parent might have to drive to say 3 different schools to do the school run. If you are unable to get a place at your local school, you can always appeal (yes a pain in the backside, but nonetheless an option) at the end of the day its a lottery and if you get the school you want then the system works otherwise it doesn't. Every area has its own issues so I can only speak for me. Where I live & I sure elsewhere, people move house just to get the school they want and pay serious premiums for that house.Like the law the system is an ass, you just need to work the system as distasteful as it is…

  10. I think that there is no right answer for this at all. We are lucky in that there is only one option, but it is massive (over 600 pupils) there is 90 children in both mini and maxi's year, which creates its own issues. You win some you lose some!

  11. Unfortunately, we don't have any extending cirucumstances that would give us a look in. I would never suggest children going to different schools, but I still strongly believe that priority should first be children who live close. If you live in the catchment and have siblings at the school you should be given extra points!I don't like the idea of it being a lottery….this fiasco has been going on for years and hopefully we see some changes soon.

  12. I think one solution would be to set some firm rules. At the moment, there is no legislation…atleast none that I can find that dictates how the sibling rule is imposed. At the moment, it can be up to the discretion of the school which is resulting in these issues.

  13. at our school there are parents with children at different schools. Places are awarded to catchment children first and then if spaces for out of area sibling link plays a part. Our village has 2 schools and catchment areas split the villageJust by living on opposite side of road can put you in a different catchment to your neighbour. Some children got in as low birth year but the sibling was in a higher birth year. Catchment places filled first and then distance from school and sibling link comes in. These parents were unfortunate that first child was in non catchment school but no place for second child. I guess it depends on how your council works it

  14. Thank you for taking the time to comment. As you live on the doorstep of the school I think you are fully entitled. I would be interested to know which school she couldn't get into. If you happen to find out the sibling numbers for our little ones I would be very interested in knowing. We are planning on moving but won't be doing it just for schools….we need ore space.

  15. It really is a can of worms isn't it. I do like the idea of prioritising proximity but if they live in the catchment and have siblings already at school they should be given priority.

  16. I do feel your frustration Chrissie I remember waiting to hear if Jasper got into said school, but as it happens we lucked out on it being a low birth year. Now I suppose we are relieved in the knowledge that Scarlett will get in, but of course I believe she should because I simply cannot be in 2 places at once. Regarding said lady with 5 children who high-tailed it across town, her argument is that she is unable to access 5 places at the now nearest school!
    It occurs to me that the schools should consider staggering start and end times to deal with such a problem, I know a friend who is leaving her daughter there, but moving her son out of St P's into St C's private school, but the private school starts at 8.30 I believe so it is do-able.
    There has also been a little girl on continued interest for a year, and has just joined St P's, because a girl in Jaspers class moved to Jersey Farm and mum promptly moved them to the local school, so it does happen.
    I have just heard that Hertfordshire have appoined an Obesity Officer, as the stats are the worst in the country, but I think that is less down to locality, and more down to yummy mummies in their Chelsea tractors – oh and childminders who are ready to whisk kids off to fun activities straight after drop off!
    Am sure we have had this “discussion” before and will continue to do so for a very long time. The only good thing, as you know, is that both schools are very good and I do know childminders in Holyrood Crescent of course ;)!

    Guess who :)

  17. I know that I live in Canada now (where, in BC, catchments have now been scrapped altogether!) But I thought you may also want to hear from the military family perspective. nWe were based abroad with my husband's job in the Navy. when we moved back to the UK with his job. You are given no allowances. It took us months to secure an address in a married quarter so that we would even have an address to use for the application. nWe managed to get 2 in to the local school (both in low birthrate year groups)but our eldest was offered a place miles away. we had to appeal, and luckily won. It was traumatic and stressful as we only found out at the last minute. At the appeal they even discussed the space in the classroom to hang his coat! nWe all think the baby years are stressful, but the whole school places thing is the start of a new phase of worries!

  18. I know that I live in Canada now (where, in BC, catchments have now been scrapped altogether!) But I thought you may also want to hear from the military family perspective. nWe were based abroad with my husband’s job in the Navy. when we moved back to the UK with his job. You are given no allowances. It took us months to secure an address in a married quarter so that we would even have an address to use for the application. nWe managed to get 2 in to the local school (both in low birthrate year groups)but our eldest was offered a place miles away. we had to appeal, and luckily won. It was traumatic and stressful as we only found out at the last minute. At the appeal they even discussed the space in the classroom to hang his coat! nWe all think the baby years are stressful, but the whole school places thing is the start of a new phase of worries!

  19. I know that I live in Canada now (where, in BC, catchments have now been scrapped altogether!) But I thought you may also want to hear from the military family perspective. nWe were based abroad with my husband’s job in the Navy. when we moved back to the UK with his job. You are given no allowances. It took us months to secure an address in a married quarter so that we would even have an address to use for the application. nWe managed to get 2 in to the local school (both in low birthrate year groups)but our eldest was offered a place miles away. we had to appeal, and luckily won. It was traumatic and stressful as we only found out at the last minute. At the appeal they even discussed the space in the classroom to hang his coat! nWe all think the baby years are stressful, but the whole school places thing is the start of a new phase of worries!

  20. I know that I live in Canada now (where, in BC, catchments have now been scrapped altogether!) But I thought you may also want to hear from the military family perspective. We were based abroad with my husband's job in the Navy. when we moved back to the UK with his job. You are given no allowances. It took us months to secure an address in a married quarter so that we would even have an address to use for the application. We managed to get 2 in to the local school (both in low birthrate year groups)but our eldest was offered a place miles away. we had to appeal, and luckily won. It was traumatic and stressful as we only found out at the last minute. At the appeal they even discussed the space in the classroom to hang his coat! We all think the baby years are stressful, but the whole school places thing is the start of a new phase of worries!

  21. Personally I completely disagree with you, I think the sibling link should be the biggest consideration. My eldest is now at secondary school and so is getting herself to and fro, but my middle daughter started in reception at our nearest school, at the end of her reception year my husband was made redundant and got a job 200 miles away, so we moved there and she got a place at the nearest school to our house there. Since then we have had to move again and are now living in a totally different area (another 200 miles away). There were four schools in the town we were willing to send our children to, one of them had a space in her year and another in my eldest daughter's year, so for the last half of year 6 my eldest was dropped off at 8 o'clock in the morning at my mum's so she could take her to school while I took my middle daughter to her school. Neither of them were our closest school as there simply wasn't a suitable house to rent in the catchment area for either and we needed to move quickly as my husband had already started his job and lodgings were crippling us financially. Since then we have moved again (within the same town) as we found a house to buy, and are now even further away from my middle daughter's school, and my youngest is due to start school in September. I have been told that I have broken the sibling link as I have moved since my middle daughter started at the school, but there were simply no suitable houses within the local area, despite my best efforts to find one. We are, in fact, living locally to one of the other schools we liked when we first moved here, but had no spaces at the time. I cannot leave my middle daughter at the age of seven standing outside the locked school gates while I traipse across town with my youngest to a different school, and I don't consider it fair to move her to a fourth school within her first three years of school education so if I do not get a place for my youngest I will be going to appeal. I agree that the system is abused by some people, but I am not one of them, as my daughter is at the school she is at because I specifically chose to put her into a school which had a space available, and not fight to crowbar her into somewhere with bursting classrooms.

    1. Hi Shelley,

      Thanks for taking the time to comment. I would never suggest that your 7 year old be left to stand outside of a school but I still stand by my belief that location should be given more consideration. If you do not live in a catchment area (which we don’t have) then children within the catchment should get priority. Does the school closest to you have space now? I know that it would be difficult to move your daughter yet again but wouldn’t it be easier in the long run if they went to school nearer your home? I do hope that you get a reasonable solution.

  22. The other department that might be interested in all this is the Dept of the Environment – all of the reasons against that you give are also environmental reasons for scrapping the rule. Tricky one though, I’m doing two schools at the moment because the school my 6yo goes to doesn’t have a nursery year, it’s a nightmare. I don’t envy the guys in schools admissions, their jobs must be pretty difficult. It is totally nuts that kids should be being driven miles to get to school but I don’t think there are easy answers.

  23. The thing I don’t get is how is it we have equal opertunities this that and everythng but when it comes to one of the most important thngs, our children education we allow the siblings rule which basically says Child A has preferential treatment over Child B just because Child A brother/Sister attends the school.
    I know people who have rented properties for a year costing over £2k/month so they can get thier first child into a school on the basis that it’s cheaper to take the hit up front than pay private school fees for ther first, then the twins… then the next…
    Simularly in places like London I believe when you move out of a catchment area you should also by the beginning of the next school year have moved to a more local school. Their is a school in Merton which is execelent which takes ~30/kids a year from a catchment area on <200m and by year 6 less than 20% of children live within the catchment area. Simularly of the siblins intke a whopping 65% of reception year would not have got a place had it not been for this rule. That means a lot of kids who should be going to this school were deprived of the opertunity. Can you imagine going for a job interview and being told you didn't get the job although you were the best person for it because the guy who did was John from accounts brother…

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