How to talk to a complete stranger?

Nearly broke my heart today. My daughter asked to go to a soft play centre, which is equivalent to hell for me. However, in an attempt to be a good mother, I said no problem, but I explained that we would be going on our own and wouldn’t know anyone there. She said she wasn’t bothered. Normally, she is a very confident social character. She hasn’t had any problems making friends at school and socializing with other children in familiar situations is a breeze for her. She’s far from shy and has a lot more social skills than her mother.

The Problem

However, when we arrived at the soft play centre, she struggled to find anyone to play with. She attempted to go off and play but came back a bit deflated saying she felt lonely and no one would play with her. In my quest to develop her independence, I tried my best to sit back, playing on my IPAD and let her work it out. But…..

Our Attempt to solve it

At one point, I walked around with her holding her hand looking for a playmate but they were all running by so quickly. She tried a couple of times to say excuse me but they didn’t hear her. Bless!

Totally lost, I suggested finding someone playing on their own and introduce yourself and ask if they would like to play, but no luck. Then, I suggested that she find some children having fun and play near them and maybe they would ask her to join in. Bless she went and sat by herself in a play tunnel for ages and no one came by. It was so hard to watch.

Solution

In the end, I intervened again and luckily found two sisters, who were lovely and when I explained she didn’t have anyone to play with they swooped in and whisked her away. I had to drag her away in the end.

In reflection, it is rather an odd thing to go up to a complete stranger and ask to join in? As an adult walking up to people you don’t know and striking up conversation is the social equivalent of skydiving. So why do we expect children to do it so easily?

In future, what can I do to help her? Do you have any tips on how to help them make friends in these situations?

How to stop your cat urninating in the house…..

I did not kill my cat, but to be honest I was really close! For the record, I’m a cat lover; I can’t remember when I haven’t had one. Currently we have two, a brother and a sister, they’d been abandoned in a box next to a river with their mum, we’ve had them for 5 years but recently the female has started to wee everywhere and when I say ‘everywhere’ I really mean it.

She’s ruined over £500 worth of footwear (I like expensive shoes), when a friend came to visit from South Africa, amidst making up her bed the cat jumped up and peed on it, one night after I’d been out I came home saddled up next to hubby and the cat jumped up and peed all over the both of us and one morning hubby was all suited up for work it backed up to him wiggled it’s tail and wee’d all over him.

To be honest I was at my wits end, nearly in tears and the cat was minutes away from being taken back to the RSPCA. Many people suggested that she may have cystitis and I should take her to the vet, but I watched her closely and it wasn’t a matter of being incontinent and unable to get outside but more of a behavioural issue.

Basically, we have a normal cat flap and all the neighbourhood cats come and go as they please, we also found a dog ball in the house which was full of scent and she has a nervous disposition hence why I think she is peeing everywhere, just marking her territory.

We bought some Felaway spray which is a pheromone that is supposed to relax the cat and it did. It worked brilliantly for a few days and the weeing stopped immediately but sadly it started again.

A few people recommended chip cat flaps but I misunderstood them. I thought they meant the ones with the magnetic collars. Our cats won’t keep collars on so this wasn’t an option but in the end I worked it out and I love gadgets so I was all over this one. Basically the cat flap works on the identity chip that is implanted in the cat. Both of our cats had one implanted when they were spayed and neutered.

The Sureflap Microchip Cat Flap was a bit pricey (approx £90) but when you work out the damage, the amount we save on lost magnetic collars and feeding all the neighbourhood cats it really wasn’t that bad. Installation was a breeze but persuading our cats to go through it was rather challenging. Once you install the cat flap you have to put it in learn mode and then pass your cats through the cat flap. I have to say they weren’t convinced but with a bit of gentle persuasion (brute force) they did it.

But the most important thing…………….she has stopped weeing in the house, she now feels safe and secure as the neighbourhood bullies can’t get in.

Thanks to @cocabeenslinky for the artwork. It’s amazing what a bit of port and wine can produce!

How to eat mussels?

My hubby and ‘ve been married for just over 5 years now. However, we married quite quickly after we first met, within 11 months, so we haven’t really known each other for that long. I’m still discovering loads of his hidden talents……..

Thanks to the lovely folks at Fish is the Dish for the gorgeous Scottish Cooked Mussels in Garlic Butter Sauce, which were supplied by the Scottish Shellfish Marketing Group.

Downloading kid’s movies made easy!

I have an Apple TV and for those of you who haven’t heard of one it is NOT actually a TV.  It’s a small box that sits beneath my TV and wirelessly connects to my laptop, so I can access all the content I have in ITunes via my TV; movies, music and photos.

I was sent a couple of promo-codes to download Hop and The Adjustment Bureau.  If you’re not familiar with downloading movies via ITunes it’s dead easy.  Simply go to the ITunes store, search for your movie, you can choose whether to rent or buy, confirm your security details and voilà it will start to download (note: depending on speed of connection this can take a while).  It’s really no different from downloading music.  I tend to purchase the movies for my daughter as she watches them over and over.   However, my husband and I don’t tend to watch movies ourselves more than once so we just rent them.

If you don’t have an Apple TV you can also download movies via your PC or MAC, Iphone, Ipad or games consoles and watch anywhere.  I wish I would have downloaded a few movies for our epic flight to Canada in the summer!

I no longer have a lounge scattered with DVDs, in the wrong cases and that have been scratched beyond repair!  Plus, it also eliminates the frustration when queuing movies for my daughter as I’m not forced to watch the trailers and can opt to jump straight to the movie.

I can’t emphasize enough how easy it is!

Disclosure:  In return for this review I received a ‘Summer Wind-down Package’ which included HOP and The Adjustment Bureau, some film merchandise goody bags for my daughter and a bottle of wine and some chocolates for me.