Hubby has just returned from his nightly visit to the hospital. This has been going on for 7 weeks. As most of you are aware his 87 year old father is terminally ill with cancer. It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind and we had to relocate them locally. My husband is an only child and we don’t have a lot of family around to help. He is now in a palliative care ward within 10 minutes of our house and we secured a flat for his mother. It’s all been a bit too much for her as she was yanked suddenly from her home after 40 years. Nevertheless, we thought she had settled.
Shortly after we got her established in the flat she too took ill and was admitted to a different hospital in a different town. Her condition is not life threatening.
They’ve been married for 53 years so we were desperate to get them together, for his final days. It was a bit of a battle as the doctors at her hospital refused to transfer treatment, even though father in laws hospital was willing and able to take her. In the end, it was the Great Escape. I arranged to take her for 2 hours to visit her husband under the promise that I would bring her back but I never did. Luckily, we have a stroppy doctor who isn’t interested in stroking other doctor’s egos. She gave them a right ear-bending and the transfer was done within an hour.
They’re now in rooms across the hall from each other. Everyday they wheel her into her hubby’s room where they sit and hold hands.
The weird thing is, and there is no medical reason for it but she is deteriorating quickly. I must preface that she is getting excellent care but seems to have lost the will to live. She’s given up eating and drinking and won’t get out of bed for the most part. We have no idea why or what we can do. I’ve heard of people dying from a broken heart……..
I’ve answered my own question….
my mother in law passed away on Sunday the 27th of June at 6.15pm
and FIL passed away at 11 am on the 28th of June, within 18 hours of each other. It was like he was waiting for her….bitterly sweet!
{ 68 comments… read them below or add one }
← Previous Comments
How lovely that neither one had to bury each other, I dont suppose thats any comfort now but it will be.
My thoughts are with you all xxx
Gosh that's so sad. Been following your Twitter feed about all the goings on and you absolutely did the right thing when you kidnapped the MIL and moved her hospitals. Thinking of you and hubby xx
My condolences to you both and all the family. This must be a very difficult time for you all. Thank you for sharing something which must be very difficult.
My condolences to your husband, you and your daughter. Wishing all of you strength in the days to come.
My darling, upliftingly sad – if that makes sense? Warm feelings to you, your OH and yours x
I'm so impressed that you 'stole' her away to be with her love for the last days. And yes, very bitter sweet that they died together. So sad for your poor husband. But you should all be proud that you enabled them to have this time together. Hugs to you all at this sad time.
That's so sad – I'm sorry for your loss and especially for your husband loosing both his parents so close together
I hope in time he can realise that it was obviously what they both wanted and perhaps better for them to do it this way than for either to be alone? My maternal Grandmother never forgave my Grandfather for dying – it was horrid to see her going through that
What to say? It was the best way in the end… sad and sweet at the same time. Sooo glad they were together.
It ook me a while to piece together your story when I got back from Kimberley (no internet connection at my sister's house) so I only just figured out what happened. I hope you both (and the little one) have chance to relax at your mum's and let her take care of you for a while.
This is so sad but also very true. My Grandpa died when I was 12 years old and 3 weeks later my Grandma also died. She had been a very spritely and well woman but the Docs believe she died of a broken heart as she just gave up and couldn’t bear to be without her love. They had spent their whole lives together. I feel for your Hubby but hopefully he will have some solace in the fact they are still together which is I’m sure what they would have wanted xx
This is so sad but also very true. My Grandpa died when I was 12 years old and 3 weeks later my Grandma also died. She had been a very spritely and well woman but the Docs believe she died of a broken heart as she just gave up and couldn't bear to be without her love. They had spent their whole lives together. I feel for your Hubby but hopefully he will have some solace in the fact they are still together which is I'm sure what they would have wanted xx
This is so sad but also very true. My Grandpa died when I was 12 years old and 3 weeks later my Grandma also died. She had been a very spritely and well woman but the Docs believe she died of a broken heart as she just gave up and couldn't bear to be without her love. They had spent their whole lives together. I feel for your Hubby but hopefully he will have some solace in the fact they are still together which is I'm sure what they would have wanted xx
Many years ago, my mother’s father died of heart failure (as did most of his family, and so did my mother many years later). My mother’s mother died of cancer six months later – but really, I think she died of a broken heart.
My own mother died 7 years ago, and my father currently suffers from a form of survivor’s guilt because he believes that he “should” also have died quite soon, to show how much he loved her. It is very sad to watch.
So so sad but strangely lovely at the same time. So glad for them and for your husband that they were together at the end.
My Great Aunt broke her hip. She could have recovered and got home with support but sat in her hospital bed she told me she’d had enough and she wanted to be with Alec her late husband. The next day she passed away. I really do believe that Broken Heart Syndrome exists.
So do I! Thank you!
Oh heck, tears! A beautiful post, really beautiful. This must have been such a hard time for you both.
I think you’re right, he waited for her to go first so she didn’t have to deal with the pain. What a love story.
It was truly remarkable. Thank you.
Oh my goodness. This had me in tears. So sad, yet so much love. Hope you are both ok today.
← Previous Comments
{ 3 trackbacks }