Funniest Bits of Childbirth

I think you’ll agree there really isn’t anything funny about childbirth and any attempts at humour during labour may result in serious bodily injury.  However, I did find myself laughing at times.  This may have something to do with the quantities of gas and air.  I won’t bore you with the finer details of my experience as it was fairly uneventful.  I consider myself very lucky, I walked into the hospital at 6 cms and Madame was born 4 hours later.  Though, I was bit disappointed as I was hoping to get stoned on the NHS.

Hubby was present; he tried his best but really wasn’t a lot of help.  He was miles better than a few of the tossers on ‘One Born Every Minute’ that’s on BBC at the moment, who I personally think should be shot.  He did however, religiously pass me the gas and air when needed and his impression of Princess Leia, using bed pans on his ears did make me laugh.  I didn’t appreciate it though when he disappeared at a crucial moment but we found him in time.

Unfortunately, I had a retained placenta so I had to go into surgery afterwards to have it removed.  I was gutted that I had to have an epidural after managing to make it through delivery without one.  There must have been a dozen people in the operating theatre; the doctor, a couple of assistants, the midwife, a gaggle of wide-eyed midwifery students, possibly some janitorial staff and 2 anaesthesiologists who I swear were playing cards.

So, there I was lying on my back with my legs in the air with not a shred of dignity left.  At this point, I really didn’t need to see my reflection in the Doctor’s safety glasses (remember he wasn’t looking at my face) but I did! Not something anyone should ever have to see.

When I get nervous I tend to crack inappropriate jokes and ask ridiculous questions.   I don’t know what possessed me but I asked the doctor; who is down below, framed by my legs, wearing a mask and about to go in, how he was going to remove it and this was his response…………..

I’m really not sure why I found it so funny but I did.

I’m not normally a huge fan of Mumsnet, I don’t know why, but I came across The Funniest Bits of Childbirth which has some seriously funny stories.  Get yourself a cup of coffee and enjoy!

If you have any funny stories I’d love to hear them!