Category: Humour

While I was on holiday, the lovely Ruth from Geek Mummy challenged me to Room 101.  I honestly had no idea what she was on about.  But once I went through her post and scrolled through the everyone else’s posts on it, I managed to work out what it was.

Apparently it’s a Torture Chamber in George Orwell’s book  1984, which I’ve never read if I’m honest.  Following on from that, there’s a TV programme where celebrities are encouraged to banish their pet hates to Room 101.

I’ve been known to have the odd rant or two, especially if I’ve had wine.  I’ve even been known to pick holes in other people’s arguments even if I agree with them, just for sport!  It’s not one of my best characteristics and I’m working on it.  However, I do love a good debate especially on issues that I haven’t decided on how I feel about it.

As I’m increasingly turning into a grumpy old woman, now that I’m in my 40s, I’m finding it really hard to narrow it down to three.  There is a plethora of things; mostly people who I’d send packing.

Can I help you?

I’m not sure why this winds me up so much.  It may have to do with working in the service industry when I was in university.  When I walk into a shop and if I’m lucky and the young shop attendant doesn’t just look me up and down, tut  and then walk off;  because they assume that I am beyond help when it comes to fashion.

They sneak up behind me with military precision and utter those infuriating words ‘Can I help you?’.  Yes, I’m fairly sure that you are capable of helping me as the store wouldn’t have hired you otherwise and I’m guessing that you have had some training?  Don’t you mean ‘may I help you?’  It takes me all my power not to say ‘yes, I’m sure you can but…….’  I would just end up looking like a deranged person.

Parents who steal your thunder?

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen this.  I know some parents, for whatever reasons, possibly lack of fulfilment on their part,  live vicariously through their children’s achievements.  When my daughter was a baby she didn’t sleep through the night until she was 6 months old.  I had a bottle of Champagne in the fridge waiting to pop it the first time she slept through.

There is nothing worse, than when you haven’t slept in months for someone to skip in refreshed as they’ve had unbroken sleep to say ‘my baby slept through since we brought them home from the hospital’.  It’s like a punch in the stomach.

Or recently, I saw a parent excited that their 5-year-old was just coming off their stabilizers.  It did cross my mind to mention that our daughter never used stabilizers as we went down the balance bike route but I managed to keep it to myself.  But as predicted, some mum, who probably meant well, pipes in saying ‘my child has been riding them without stabilizers since they were 3’.  Why oh, why do they do that?  Whoopee ding, your child is a genius but how does that make the other mum feel?  Within a second they have gone from being excited to deflated.

So please, do think before you speak?  There is nothing wrong with celebrating your child’s milestones but timing is everything.

Chewing gum

Let’s face it, chewing gum is unattractive, there are no two ways about it.  This is true for snotty nosed kids to spotty teenagers to supermodels.  No matter how much you try, even if you do it with your mouth closed,  you’re going to look like a masticating cow or worse a 90-year-old who has given up wearing their dentures at tea time.  It’s disgusting and distracting so just don’t do it!

Sorry guys, but I’d love to hear what 3 things you would send to room 101 and tag 3 others to do the same.

AnnieQPR

Chicken Ruby

Northern Mum

What are your pet hates?  Please do leave a comment below.