marriage – Mediocre Mum

My Top 5 Pranks to Play on Your Other Half

In all fairness, my husband doesn’t go out that much. But when he does, after my daughters gone to bed and I’ve opened the wine, I can get a bit bored; which always leads to mischief.

Here are my top 5 pranks I play on him when he stumbles through the door:

1.) Cling Film the front door – this is one of my all time favourites! You will need a Costco-sized roll of cling film. I couldn’t stop laughing the entire time….but my only advice, make sure you place it on the right side of the door; bearing in mind which way the door opens.

2.) A dash of Lego – I can’t take credit for this one, I think I originally got the idea from Daddacool. Sprinkle Lego on the floor along the route that they’re most likely going to take after they take their shoes off. Then turn off the lights, head of to bed and wait for the yelps!

3.) Place a hairbrush, preferably one with hard bristles, under the duvet on their side of the bed. Ouch!

4.) Rearrange the furniture – unfortunately this isn’t really possible in our bedroom as it’s, so small and stacked with furniture. The most I could probably do would be to put the pillows on the opposite end of the bed.

5.) Duct tape the kitchen tap but leave a small gap between the tape, towards the front so when they turn it on it sprays them all down the front.

I’ve now run out of new pranks so would appreciate any you have to share.

Have a well deserved Bank Holiday!

Going the Distance

I’ve only been married for 4 years. I know I moan a lot about my hubby on Twitter but honestly we’re happily married, even though I do get the urge to stab him occasionally! A few people have got the wrong idea and have tried it ‘on’ but that’s a whole different post.

We’ve had a very difficult year, some of which I’m willing to share and some I’m not. Many of you know that my in-laws passed away within 18 hours of each other in June. Interestingly, and without sounding soppy, it did bring us closer together, even though the stress of his father being terminally ill and relocating his mother did result in a few flare ups to be honest.

My in-laws had been together for 63 years and in a way it was romantic that they went together and his mother would not have coped very well on her own. They’ve both been cremated and their ashes will be spread together in Belfast next spring. The registrar said it was the first time she had ever put two family members next to each other on the death register. They’ll always be together now.

One thing I wished I would’ve asked them was what was the secret to a successful marriage? Statistically, one in two marriages ends in divorce and I don’t want to be one of those statistics.

I was contacted by Diffusion Media and asked to promote a new series, which follows recently married Mike and Alanna on a motorcycle and sidecar, as they search for the secret to a long lasting relationship. The first part of their quest takes them across states and countries, meeting with everyone from Eskimos to Nobel Peace Prizewinners! And now they’re coming to the UK to discover just what it is that makes British couples special when it comes to making love last.

I did not receive anything in return for this post; I just think it looks brilliant. I love travel programmes, adventure and would love to know the secret to a lasting relationship. I hope it’s as good as it looks. What do you think?

It Takes Two to Tango

About ten years ago a friend of mine said to me that every time she wanted her partner of 20+ years to do something, she always had to let him ‘think’ it was his idea. I used to think life was too short for such games and manipulation, but after being married for nearly 4 years I realise what a wise woman she was.

I don’t know what it is but every time I suggest something to hubby (purchases, DIY, Holidays, Finances, Take-away, etc) he always has the knee jerk reaction and always poo-poos my ideas no matter what it is. So, I’m slowly working out how to get what I want. So, now instead of saying ‘I would like to paint the kitchen’, I say ‘what do you think about painting the kitchen’.

Last summer I wanted to buy Madame a Wendy House, so I ordered him without telling him. Unfortunately, the stupid company emailed him the confirmation. He went bonkers so I had to cancel the order. So, I had to stop and rethink my strategy and I’m happy to report that she did receive her Wendy house and he spent Christmas Eve putting it together in the dark! :-)

It’s going to take me a bit to become proficient at it but I’m getting better at planting little seeds and letting him run with it. I don’t need my ego stroked and honestly, I quite enjoy being secretly smug! I bet you a fiver he takes credit for Madame’s Birthday Present. Bless him!

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Cyber Infidelity

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I woke up this morning to find a case of cyber infidelity in my timeline involving two of my married followers. Not surprisingly, the wife is very hurt and understandably so. I won’t go into the details because it is a private matter even though it was posted on twitter. However, I do have strong feelings about it.

I’ve often joked about being on twitter for a year and a half and no one has ever hit on me. On one occasion I joked about lack of saucy messages in my DMs and you guys responded with a plethora of DMs (ketchup, mustard, relish, etc). A few people have tested the water but I always fend them off saying I’m happily married.

I believe that a thought is just as bad as an action. The biggest test is if the other person involved would be hurt if they read the messages. If so, don’t do it!

I’m no saint. Prior to meeting my husband I was in a relationship for six years and towards the end I cheated….even though we were technically on a ‘break’ (Ross and Rachel style). In hindsight, I’m grateful for it happening as it told me that things weren’t right and I ended it shortly after that. On a side note I discovered he had cheated as well, with one of my mates. We’ve both moved on and are both much happier.

I know people do it for a number of reasons, if they are not getting what they need at home, feeling insecure, lacking attention, etc.

Is it harmless fun? I’d love to hear your thoughts.