I pride myself on being a tough cookie and I rarely ever cry. I know some think this is unhealthy but it’s the way I roll; in my family it’s a sign of weakness. We’re the kind of people who just get on with things. I have well refined techniques for stopping floods of tears, especially if it’s during tear jerking movies. It’s usually a stern internal dialogue, that goes something like this ‘sort yourself out woman!’
I’m sitting here now trying to remember the last time I cried. Just give me a minute. Oh yes, I cried when my dad died, but that was over 10 years ago. I must have cried since then? I didn’t cry when my in-laws died in June this year. Oh, now I remember, I cried when my cousin, who is the same age as me, died about 3 years ago after losing a long battle with liver disease.
However, if I ever have a quiet moment alone (usually when I’m driving), there are things that can almost instantly make me well up.
I won’t be able to give this justice, but when I think back to my in-laws joint funeral in July it almost always brings me to tears. It wasn’t the arrival of two hearses, nor two coffins, nor the service, nor the music, or the support of friends but when I remember my husband on that day it nearly brings me to tears. I have a vivid memory, while we were waiting for his parents to arrive, of him standing in the distance in the beautifully manicured rose gardens, wearing a suit, with his head hanging, hands-in pockets. He looked like a lost little boy…..
I’m starting to well up again! For Christ sake woman sort yourself out!
What makes you cry?