Category: Marriage

Going the Distance

I’ve only been married for 4 years.  I know I moan a lot about my hubby on Twitter but honestly we’re happily married, even though I do get the urge to stab him occasionally!  A few people have got the wrong idea and have tried it ‘on’ but that’s a whole different post.

We’ve had a very difficult year, some of which I’m willing to share and some I’m not.  Many of you know that my in-laws passed away within 18 hours of each other in June.  Interestingly, and without sounding soppy, it did bring us closer together, even though the stress of his father being terminally ill and relocating his mother did result in a few flare ups to be honest.

My in-laws had been together for 63 years and in a way it was romantic that they went together and his mother would not have coped very well on her own.  They’ve both been cremated and their ashes will be spread together in Belfast next spring.  The registrar said it was the first time she had ever put two family members next to each other on the death register.  They’ll always be together now.

One thing I wished I would’ve asked them was what was the secret to a successful marriage?  Statistically, one in two marriages ends in divorce and I don’t want to be one of those statistics.

I was contacted by Diffusion Media and asked to promote a new series, which follows recently married Mike and Alanna on a motorcycle and sidecar, as they search for the secret to a long lasting relationship. The first part of their quest takes them across states and countries, meeting with everyone from Eskimos to Nobel Peace Prizewinners! And now they’re coming to the UK to discover just what it is that makes British couples special when it comes to making love last.

I did not receive anything in return for this post; I just think it looks brilliant.  I love travel programmes, adventure and would love to know the secret to a lasting relationship.  I hope it’s as good as it looks.  What do you think?

Cyber Infidelity

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I woke up this morning to find a case of cyber infidelity in my timeline involving two of my married followers. Not surprisingly, the wife is very hurt and understandably so. I won’t go into the details because it is a private matter even though it was posted on twitter. However, I do have strong feelings about it.

I’ve often joked about being on twitter for a year and a half and no one has ever hit on me. On one occasion I joked about lack of saucy messages in my DMs and you guys responded with a plethora of DMs (ketchup, mustard, relish, etc). A few people have tested the water but I always fend them off saying I’m happily married.

I believe that a thought is just as bad as an action. The biggest test is if the other person involved would be hurt if they read the messages.  If so, don’t do it!

I’m no saint. Prior to meeting my husband I was in a relationship for six years and towards the end I cheated….even though we were technically on a ‘break’ (Ross and Rachel style). In hindsight, I’m grateful for it happening as it told me that things weren’t right and I ended it shortly after that. On a side note I discovered he had cheated as well, with one of my mates. We’ve both moved on and are both much happier.

I know people do it for a number of reasons, if they are not getting what they need at home, feeling insecure, lacking attention, etc.

Is it harmless fun? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Swans Mate for Life

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Hubby has just returned from his nightly visit to the hospital.  This has been going on for 7 weeks.  As most of you are aware his 87 year old father is terminally ill with cancer.  It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind and we had to relocate them locally.  My husband is an only child and we don’t have a lot of family around to help.  He is now in a palliative care ward within 10 minutes of our house and we secured a flat for his mother.  It’s all been a bit too much for her as she was yanked suddenly from her home after 40 years. Nevertheless, we thought she had settled.

Shortly after we got her established in the flat she too took ill and was admitted to a different hospital in a different town.  Her condition is not life threatening.

They’ve been married for 53 years so we were desperate to get them together, for his final days.  It was a bit of a battle as the doctors at her hospital refused to transfer treatment, even though father in laws hospital was willing and able to take her.  In the end, it was the Great Escape.  I arranged to take her for 2 hours to visit her husband under the promise that I would bring her back but I never did.  Luckily, we have a stroppy doctor who isn’t interested in stroking other doctor’s egos.  She gave them a right ear-bending and the transfer was done within an hour.

They’re now in rooms across the hall from each other.  Everyday they wheel her into her hubby’s room where they sit and hold hands.

The weird thing is, and there is no medical reason for it but she is deteriorating quickly.  I must preface that she is getting excellent care but seems to have lost the will to live.  She’s given up eating and drinking and won’t get out of bed for the most part.  We have no idea why or what we can do.  I’ve heard of people dying from a broken heart……..

I’ve answered my own question….

my mother in law passed away on Sunday the 27th of June at 6.15pm

and FIL passed away at 11 am on the 28th of June, within 18 hours of each other.  It was like he was waiting for her….bitterly sweet!